Who Made You Judge, Jury and...

So Laurell K Hamilton's new book arrived at my house less than a week ago (SQUEEE!!!) and I had two other books to read before it (Skin Trade and Flirt)
I ordered the paperback for Skin Trade at the same time as preordering Bullet

flirt was a waste of time. Fan service and just a filler story. I still sort of enjoyed it.

Anywho, so, I'm only about 150 pages in and so far there has been:
kinky leather sex
threesome
bondage hardcore
gay sex
heavy petting and..

a giant orgy with over two dozen participants

oh yeah baby! I may have to change my panties soon.
This book been fantastic and I can't seem to put it down.

... except to write this blog post

and work... and eat... and sleep...

well you get the gist

In other news...
I'm taking over the store on the lower level of the mall.

The "express": store as we call them is like the big store, but on steroids.

It only sells panties and bra's where as the big store sells additional things such as sleepwear and slippers and loungewear... ect...

I was supposed to be trained to be down there and have one shift just hanging down there to get the idea where everything is.
I open the store tomorrow morning.

I don't even know if I have been put in the system!!!

Food Crusade has begun and reviews will happen as soon as I can get feedback from the other participants who are part of it.
I think they have spent more time thinking up a nom de plume then an actual review for where we have eaten.

oh well...

Alice Baby, Where Have You Gone...

So here is the photos of which we went to the opening day of Alice in Wonderland when it was still in the theaters (I know, I know)

So in honor of it`s release, I present the photos
(Taken outside one of my favorite pubs)


HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!


Group Photo!













The Tea Part with the Mad Hatter, the Tea Mouse and the March Hair (who is apparently so Coked out that his hair turned white (nah! We didnt have enough time to color the fur)

















all of the SEXY ladies who were in the group!















Queens Court! The White Rabbit, with the Red Queen (Moi!) and my lovely royal Hand Maiden!


















We actually had 2 Alices! One Gothic and one Pretty! (I think they are both very pretty! wouldnt you agree)
















The Tea Party with the Alices
















Moi! With my Boob-a-licious dress (that I actually wore to my high school grad!) I hand made the crown too! I still have it on my desk!
















The Gothic Mad Hatter! The little bastard went to the Tea Store before the movie and flirted with the girls! They gave him FREE TEA!!!



















The White Rabbit checking the time! (maybe he wont be late today)
















Gothic Alice showing off her pretty dress




















The March Hare, who is wonderfully punk and probably has some sort of drug in his tea!





















The Tea Mouse complete with a tea pot lid! (He is probably sniffing something too)



















Pretty Alice, looking all demure and cute!



















Me with my white rabbit! He even has the teeth and whiskers! I loved his costume the best!


















eek! There is a hare in my drink!!!!

We`re Off to See the Wizard...

SO TODAY...

I'm a little confused about my feelings.

...No no, not about you (silly!)
I love you all! It's more about something that happened.

I'm not really supposed to say, but no one at my store reads my blog anyways, so it's safe to tell you.

I've been transferred stores! to southcentre, and I get to run the express store! (Whheeee!!)

I am SSSSOOOO Excited!!!

however...

I`m gonna miss all the girls at my old store. I`m not allowed to tell them, until my replacement is solid, and generally, it`s just hush hush!

why you may ask... I honestly have no clue why I am transferred, all I know is that the assistant from the store where I was trained was transferred first and I think that I was just a by-product of that switch

... oh well it worked out better for me!

Wish me luck kiddies!

Just Whitsle While I Exploit You Little Animals, I Mean Work

SO TODAY...

I hit a bird! (*winces*)

I was driving home from dropping off my beloved at work when these two birds were on a main road at 60km/hour. I'm the kind of person who slows down slightly and will avoid squirrels and other wildlife on the road. I'm a big softie for little woodland creatures

*breaks out into song, and starts dancing with little animals*

no really...

anywho after hitting the poor thing, I actually held my breath for a while until I knew I wouldn't cry!
IT'S TOO DAMN EARLY IN THE MORNING TO BE DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL SHIT!!!!

... Again... I am a softie for little animals

So I just prayed that the thing was dead. But when I drove past the only thing I looked back to check and see if the thing flew away or was on the ground. And I didn't see either of them.
within seconds, I had this dreading feeling telling me that one and or both of the birds may be on my car. (EEEEEEEE.... HOLDING BREATH!!!)

I worried, but was less than a few minutes from home so I drove home and went to look at the front of my car.

There was a poor bird hanging from my cracked bumper. I ran inside screaming for my fiance's little brother to grab some heavy duty gloves
(Hey! If it was ME who got hit with a car, I would be using my sharp looking beak to peck someone's eye out!)
Anywho, his wing was stuck in the crack of my car. I just pulled on it a little bit with one hand under the creature and then he just haphazardly fell into my hand.

HOLDING BREATH AND RESISTING URGE TO YELL SORRY AT THE POOR LITTLE BIRD

... and then it fell asleep almost peacefully in my hand

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH TURNING BLUE!!! NEED TO BREATH

after a few minutes it just opened it`s eyes looked at me and fluttered away!
I named him Mort and Mort is a Northern Flicker. (insert picture here):

Isn`t he cute...
Sorry little Mort, I didn`t mean to hit you with a heavy machine that probably scared the living shit out of you!!
*wails* I`M SO SORRY!!!



PS. I found out I can upload pictures from a large computer but it kills my little laptop! With that new discovery comes boatloads of pictures of other things I promised you all!

FOOD CRUSADE START TOMORROW!!!

Leaping Lizards!

SO TODAY...

I am staring at my new pet!

AN IGUANA!!!

He is so cool! one of the tattoo artists at the place where I got my very first tattoo (More about that later), was giving it away because he doesn't have the space or time for it! Well me and my fiance want lizards (because he is allergic to fur). So we volunteered to take him off of his hands.

His name is Chub Chub!

Now I think this is hilarious because my leopard gecko name is Fat Boy (because he is fat!)

Fat Boy and Chub Cub...

I didn't co-ordinate this I swear!

Now I am hoping to get a bearded dragon, and am trying to figure out a name for him so he'll get in the theme of the names of my lizards. Any suggestions??

I love chub chub and he seems to be getting used to us. he sleeps on my arm already, but his previous owner never put him in a tank and I need to put him in a tank when I am not home.

Anywho, he likes to perch on top of my head!
apparently I am a tree, even tho I am the shortest person of my friends and family. (except for my mother and sister of course)

So In Other News:

I got my first tattoo the other day.
It is a bar of music on my thigh, and the script under it says:
If music be the food of love, sing on, sing on,
sing on till I filled with joy

... It hurt like a mother fucker!

The guy had to push down with his tattoo gun to do straight lines, and not for them to be wobbly.

It's still healing, so when it's healed I'll try and post a picture


back to the drawing board for posting pics!! Please be patient

Peace!

Get In My Belly!!!

SO TODAY...

I am still trying to upload those photos for everyone, and everytime I try, it freezes!!!

Dammit!!!

So instead... here is the list of all the restaurants (and coffee places, wine places, and bistro's ect.) that is listed on the food crusade

Open Sesame
Brulee
Crave
Golden Happiness Bakery
Manuel Latruwe
Bolero
1886 Cafe
Pfanntastic Pannenkoek Haus
Peters
Burger Inn
Antonio's Garlic Clove
The Gypsy
Bistro at Art Central
Tango
Velvet at the Grand
The Roti Hut
Hot Dog stand
Cactus Club
Silver Dragon
Atomic
Peerless Pearl Tea House
Spice Cafe
Roasterie
The Planet Coffee Roasters
Bells Bookstore Cafe
Bubble tea
The House
Saint Germain
Amato Gelato Cafe
The Chocolate Bar
Fresh Crepes
Galaxie Diner
Luxor Emporium Cafe
Fassil Ethiopian Cuisine
Marathon
Calgary Tower
Belgo Brassarrie
Rouge
heidelburg haus
The Broken Plate
Taj Mahal
Chianti's
The Olive Garden
Mercato
Abruzzo
Dolce Sapori
Japanese Village
Misai
Muku Japanese Noodle House
Blue House Cafe
Avocado
Cafe Mediterranean
Sultan's Tent
Moroccan Castle
Kilt and Caber
Dickson's
Limericks
Muldoon's irish pub
Catch
Embarcadero
Mimo
The Ranche
Cattle Baron
Caesar's Steakhouse
the Rose Garden
Sunflower Cafe
The Coup
Gratitude Cafe
Winebar kensington
Vin room
Bolagac
Smugglers Inn
Redwater Grill
Kinjo

any suggestions would be FABULOUS! I need to make the list 100 and the starting date is fast approaching.

COUNTDOWN
T minus 4 days until the food crusade begins

Burning Up the Midnight Oil

SO TODAY...

I am finally fully recovered from my all nighter shift.
We had some renos at my store, and there were a bunch of us girls who were there, most of them were only till 10 and then some of us were 10 till 6am!!! it was so much fun.

at some point or another I got this huge boost of energy and was extremely chipper. and the girls just looked at me like I should jump off the banister in the mall and plummet to my certain death!

I actually really only got tired about half an hour after I was supposed to be off! I ended up staying till 7! wwwhhheeeeeeeeee!
On my way out of the mall, I meandered down the empty hallway towards my car, and slowly closed my eyes, in small periods that lased a little longer.
... think blinking in slow motion!

anywho, I ended up closing my eyes for a fair minute and opened them just as I walked into the wall! I had the indent of ridged ornate bricks on my forhead!

ouch!

in other news:

Otafest is this weekend! Yay! geeky anime convention! I JUST finished my costume last night and it seriously is awesome!I am going as the chick from Team Magma from Pokemon! I've also made snorlax's costume and chancey's! All I have left to do is paint the pokeballs for my belt!

also this week, I have taught one of my guy friends to wax his own legs! (don't ask me why, most men when they wear short shorts for a costume they just shave!)
he's a Go-Big-or-Go-Home kind of person!

Also, this weekend I am getting my first tattoo!
you'll just either have to see me to know what it is or whenever I get around to posting pictures!

I know I know, I still owe you guys pictures from Alice
I'm actually going to do it the second I post this!

I AM GOING TO LA SOON!

I know it's pretty lame but I have submitted a tattoo idea to High Voltage Tattoo (Think LA Ink), I am hoping to hear from them soon! I mean I know they accept walk in but I really want them to do it and an appointment would be better, because then I can also choose the artist.
I will be going at the end of June! It's gonna be so hot! I'll probably want to walk around naked, or just set up a kiddie tent right next to the air conditioning. But I'll probably have to fight my fiance for that spot!

Also, coming up is the food crusade! I will be posting the final 100 places soon!

Ciao Bellas

Move Over Diamonds, Panties are my Best Friend!

SO TODAY...

is a wonderful day to update!

3rd update for the day! As today is a wonderful day!
as the last update was for nearly a week ago, this is one for the last few days!

and what's so super dooper special that I am updating 3 times today?

... well...

I've been working (Taa Daa!)

I know I know that probably wasn't what you were thinking was so special except except...

I LOVE MY JOB!

|I wake up every morning and think omg! I have the best job in the world!

.. I have this weird thing about underwear. I love panties, and take pride in wearing cute panties that make my ass look absolutely fantastic. In any color I like, and comfortable. And matching it with a bra that makes my rack look good and perky.

Hey, I may be a curvy girl with a little extra fat around the middle, but I have natural god-given rack that is hugely fabulous with an ass that skinny girls are jealous about that makes jeans look good.

... what can I say? I love my job!

anywho, as the new assistant manager I get to do things I love, catching small details and making sure things are running smoothly, and things are done.
... Yes I am a control freak, why do you ask?

well apparently they really like me, because I am taking over one of the largest stores in the city!

In other news, today in a specific incident, I was in the back room of my new store, getting familiar with all the stock and it's home on the shelves and one of the girls that was filling the floor asked me to pull this pink frilly bra.

and in the back of my head I hear a phrase. A drunken phrase that I find spitefully annoying. My friend quotes it frequently and it just gets under my skin.

"pink... is the new black." says a drunk avenged sevenfold member in a terribly cutesy but certainly drunk voice. "pink."

it repeated over and over in my head and i found myself saying that annoying phrase.

"pink, is the new black. pink..."
"pink, is the new black. pink..."
"pink, is the new black. pink..."
"pink, is the new black. pink..."
"pink, is the new black. pink..."
"pink, is the new black. pink..."

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

as I had this annoying voice reigning over what I was hearing, I thought about pummeling my dearly (soon to be departed) friend.

Rest in Peace Friend

you only have moments to live, so I would run little prey, because you are my friend, I will give you a head start 5 seconds.

1...2...3... BANG!

too bad! you suck!

FOOD CRUSADE STARTING!! EMAIL ME YOUR SUGGESTIONS!

Rock Band Candy!

So here is a video for you kiddies!

Lady Gaga/Cartmen/Christpoher Walker Mash Up!

I know it sounds lame, but it's pretty cool


OH OH OH

and I found out that you can download Poker Face on ROCK BAND!!
I'M GOING HOME TO DOWNLOAD THAT NOW!!!!!

It's Just a Jump to the Left

SO TODAY

I have plenty to report, My computer has been down since tuesday, so let's pretend we go back in time and it's tuesday.

let's do the time warp again!
[crazy dance]

So tuesday, I unexpectedly had the day off, so I decided to get some errands done! I went to chapter's to get a day timer. Because they have very chick (sh-ee-ck) portable cute daytimers (usually, anyways). Well... they didn't have any daytimers. Apparently May of that year is a bad time to get a day timer for the year we are in.

Go Figure!

anywho, since it is one of my fav stores (you don't want to know how how much I "saved" when my reminder to renew my card comes in), I decided to take a gander around the store. With me was a good friend and my fiance. We found this book that is called "Undateable".

... wtf?

So we flip through it and it was a book about what makes a man "undateable" and if you have nay of these characteristics, you would be considered undateable to sexy single women. The first couple were self explanatory. 1. bad facial hair (teen 'stach, soul patch, food in your big beard) 2. wigger clothes, when you are a upper class white man 3. moobs ect... and then there are a few that I really don't understand. Such as making movie references, or play DnD, and others like it.

... Things like that are a personal choice, I love DnD, I can understand people who don't understand. But hey, that turns my crank that people can strategize and have a big enough imagination to play these kind of games without any visual aids!

I know that not all people get that or are interested, but there are a lot of good looking social people who play DnD! We even group together to play in large groups, in the geek community. with some very attractive people, not just pimply little snot-nosed kids, who wear capes everywhere! but hey they do exist.

So, after being slightly offended (even though it's not directed at, but is trying to tell males what I want apparently), I flipped to the back!

SHE WAS A CHACHI BIMBO!!!

"ugly, but thinks I'm pretty" face with some not so very attractive man who has the smile of a douche bag, like "oh yea... you know you want me"

... uh, NO!!!!

anywho, after getting a good laugh at that stupid bitch, I decided that since I was alone for the night (my lovable fiance was working), I called up two of my guy friends (from my DnD group) and we went to Boston Pizza.

... we only went there because we couldn't decide on a place that had something we all liked

anywho, so I wasn't driving for once and so decided that I would treat myself to an alcoholic drink that I haven't indulged in for a while (it could be because I live with 2 recovering alcoholics hmmm... ) and ordered a cosmo. When it arrived, she said that they taste like ether. my response...

"Potion?"

She looked at me funny, and as she walked away, I asked one of my friends.
"I know the video game reference, but what the hell, in the real world, is ether?"

here was his response.

"In Final Fantasy, ether potions increase your mana. In pokemon, it increases your power points (for those who don't understand, that's ok), in the real world, it is a form of the date rape drug!" [his voice, is that of pleasantness, as though he is describing a peaceful happy scene]

... yummy!

momentarily after this little description, a waiter walks by, with a small patch of hair on his jawline, but it is 3 inches to the right of his face from where it's supposed to be...


UNDATEABLE!!!!

also, within the same dinner session, both of my friends received a phone call from a person I'm trying to avoid.

at comic con, there was s guest that this person who I wasn't trying to avoid at the time wanted her signature. He gave me his bag and gave me some money to get signed. Problem was, he gave it to me saturday night, and she wasn't there sunday. (AARGH!) So I had every intention of giving him back his bag and money, I had it in my vehicle to give to him.

But instead of texting me or messaging me where we can meet up, he called up my friends and asked them for my address.

... is he planning to rob my house?

No he didn't ask them to tell me to call him, or pass along the message about his bag and money. he essentially harrased my friends and fiance (yes my fiance) for my address!!!

CREEPY!!!

Dear Creep,

If I wanted you to know where I lived, I would have told you already.

you are a terribly annoying person, who I have protected to my friends and people who know you, who don't particularily like you, and yet here you prove them right and my wrong that you are just plain creepy and annoyoing.

thank you asshole, Go Fuck Yourself

love truly,

Tasha

Much Ado About Nothing

SO TODAY...

I ponder about the last week or so, and how terribly busy I have been.

I have succeeded is slaying the monster that is finding a new job! Rolling extreme crit 20's (whoo hoo) I slayed the beast, looted the body and gained plenty of experience and some good cash!

I am now the assistant manager for a location of LaSenza. (Yay! underwear!) I have been training at one location and I ADORE the people there. They all have been understanding as I blunder around, figuring out how to manage and do all the regular duties as well (I rolled a lot of 1 and 3's when learning these new found skills in the last week).

I am also recovering from the solid weekend at the comic expo here in Calgary. The official Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo just passed and it was FREAKIN AWESOME!!!

There was an awesome guest of Leonard Nimoy, and Alina Pete from Weregeek [www.weregeek.com], and many more. I decided to harass Ryan Sohmer (writer of Least I Could Do and Looking for Group) on behalf of Lar Desouza (the artist), who wants to print a poster and more merchandise for the "Least I Could Do" comic, which was much needed!

I took a shit load of pictures of awesome costumes, and one of a girl that I had no idea what she was, but a friend who came with me knew her. So I did the polite thing and took her picture.

oooo...ooo...ooooo SOMEONE DRESSED LIKE THE OLD SPICE GUY! he had an old spice bottle to pose with and everything. I squee'd while taking his picture.

ooo...ooo...oooo and and and and.... I'm going to see Dr.Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog here in Calgary. YAY! Captain Hammer! and and and Dr.Horrible!

bad horse, bad horse
he rides across the nation
the thoroughbred of sin
He got the application
That you just sent it

It needs evaluation
So let the games begin
A heinous crime, a show of force
A murder would be nice of course

(by the way if you haven't figured it out, it's the lyrics for the bad horse theme song, the ultimate villain)

In other news, the food crusade starts in a month, and I need some suggestions for other places. I will be posting a listing of all the places that I will be visiting.

the rules?
Not part of a chain
can include coffee places, wine tastings, breakfast, or anything of the sort, that feeds your stomach in any way shape or form
no night clubs, but good pubs with good food are acceptable
nothing with food poisoning records please, this is supposed to be an enlightening experience not the sickening experience.
I LIKE THE CONTENTS OF MY STOMACH WHERE THEY ARE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

anywho with much news, I am hoping to update more now that I have settled into my job, and with the food crusade there will be definite food for thought

They Really Do Help!

for all of you still reading...

I HAVE A VIDEO FOR YOU (think sing song voice)

It is one of the new funny commercials for tampons.

... so if you are in a place where playing something like that may not be appropriate, then well, screw them! It's funny!

Commercial

Enjoy Kiddies!

Miss Independant

SO TODAY...

well actually yesterday since it is 6:35 in the morning, I discovered something rather interesting.

The men in my life are as addicted to trash television as I am.

Yesterday was a day of absolutely nothing but laundry and tv. And not movies or any shows like lost or NCIS, but more along the lines of:
What not to wear
Rich bride poor bride
say yes to the dress
till debt do us part

so... really trashy tv!

earlier in the day my friend Evan (names have been changed to protect the guilty) came over as I was watching a small What Not To Wear marathon. I sat there, with the remote in hand waiting for him to say something about changing the channel.

.... He did not say a word.

We watched it for 3 or 4 hours before he had to go to work. And then shortly after, my fiance and our other good friend Calvin (name also has been changed), came over. Now I had to work in just over an hour, so I went to get ready. The show on the tv was Say Yes to the Dress. I come back almost an hour later and they are still watching it. With what I like to call "TV Face" expressions plastered on their face.

I was a good girl and the whole time I waited for any of them to say even the glimpse of "let's change the channel" and I got zip. Apparently, the men in my life enjoy bitchy people telling others how t dress, and brides who freak out about everything and joyous tacky weddings.

... but then, who doesn't?

in other news...

If I were an 80 year old woman, I would probably have had a heart attack yesterday.

not only did I get the job I REALLY wanted, the union came down from my work to talk about issues I am having with my current company. they have taken my situation very very seriously! which in itself is exciting, because I expected them not to even talk to me, to be perfectly honest.

also, I looked up the venue for the Lady Gaga tickets I got for the Edmonton show and the energy was threatening to spill out of me, because it is literally 5 minutes away from where I am staying. SSSQQQQUUUUEEEEEEE!!!! Lady Gaga!!!!

also, because I have this new job, I will be able to save my money to save for my wedding and most likely moving out with my fiance and not be stuck living with my parents, not that I do not love them in any way. I feel that at this point in my life, I should be living on my own to learn my own lessons (yes, I have lived on my own before, I had to move home when I went back to school). Anything in this point in my life, I will have to learn the hard way, which is the gosh honest truth!

When you reach the ages of the early twenties, you stop learning from your folks (no one dare deny it!!!!) and there comes a point when, well, you just have to learn on your own! It can be sad for a parent to watch, but in the end it's better for ourselves.

When we reach this age, we can be really little shits to our parents and loved ones, because, well, apparently the world has nothing left to teach us.m

... you couldn't be more wrong

Pokemon and Puffery

SO TODAY...

I caught some wild pokemon! Right here in the real world. SQUEE!

SEE MOMMY! THEY REALLY EXIST!!

I caught a wild piplup in the local shopping mall, and a wild chimchar hanging around other pokemon but trapped in a bubble and one other one. The last one I caught a while ago. I caught a wild togipi hanging out in front of someone's house!

The piplup is a DS stylus, the chimchar, a phone key chain and the wild togopi, a large stuffed creature that someone had thrown away. She is big enough to be a pillow and chills on my couch.

IN OTHER NEWS:

It has emerged!!! [the wrappings fall away from the face and body to reveal wrinkled greenish skin and eyes lifeless and staring into space at nothing particular. followed by a smell that is often associated with the stench in the fridge when something is off and dust]

It is me, from the dark world that I get caught in when my addiction of reading subsides for a while. I have been out to the bar, and kept up multiple conversations, and managed to understand all of what people have told me. ooo ooo ooo! and.. played the new pokemone game!

there is a game within the sacredness of the game of pokemon. It includes exploding balls of death and lots of money. It's a good thing I am not a gambler for this game is addicting as hell. Voltorb flip! yay coins. *ouch* [my hair has been singed away and my skin is coming off in chunks due to constant burning] Gee don't I smell wonderful!

Another clue that the creators of this pokemon game were thinking was the little extra that came with the game. it is known at the POKEWALKER. A mini pokeball with a screen and a clip to attach to your belt.
GROWLITH is daydreaming... found item... found 209 watts...
Great! now what do I do with the fucking watts? they won't power my house!

anywho...You can take your pokemon out for a walk when you don't have the time to pull out a portable system.

You can walk around with it and catch other pokemon regardless of levels and strengths: You either hit them or you don't

it encourages all the little fat children to get off their asses and walk. the more steps you take the more cool and rare pokemon you find!
MARCH TUBBOS MARCH!

To end off this tirade I have a present for you...

I present to my readers this incredible... wonderful... exciting...sensual...

ooooo shiny ds! Pokemone! Must Play!

... ok I'll tell you next time! Ciao Bellas

I Don't Date Vampires, I Kill Them

SO TODAY...

chickies, I have torn myself away from my books long enough to surf the internet.

I have been engulfed for the last month in the Anita Blake series. Vampire Hunter Extraordinaire.
A small sassy woman who would kick your ass if you give her a reason! ... let's just say some moments I can relate. Except I don't have vampire friends, or am not having sex with 7 guys. 7 handsome sexy guys, or at least that's how they are described.

...hmm... is it bad if I'm a little jealous of a fictional character.

The series itself is nearing 19 volumes. Each with a riveting story and addictive as hell. It's like coke... for my eyes and brain!
My poor fiance is feeling rather neglected since I've read 16 volumes (pretty thick ones at that) in 1 month! Whee! speed reading! I swear I don't only skim, I actually read every word.

in other news...

I have decided to take another year off to work and save money for school.

I've applied for dozens of jobs and I hope at least one of them are successful!

wish me luck kiddies!

OOooOooOOooo

I found the swan princess DVD's! I used to watch them almost everyday as a kid.
They are truly pretty terrible.. but I still love them!

others movies I've bought recently:
Chicago
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Swan Princess 1
Swan Princess 2
Disaster Movie
She's the Man
!3 going on 30
Flight of the Phoenix
and
Uptown Girls

yes... all but one of them are chick flicks. But I have been denying myself those joys that I've finally allowed myself to purchase them.

Yay!
Keep your fingers crossed for me, Kidlets!

Pacing A Hole In The Carpet

SO TODAY...

I was surfing the web, stuck at home because of an injury. I threw out my lower back and was waiting to see my trusty chiropractor, who would wave his magical hands and viola! I would be cured and ready to go.

Until that time, I needed to waste time, because... well... It would not do to show up nearly 5 hours early

So I am pacing and pacing, and trying to think of an idea to blog about. There is nothing new to watch in my dvd collection, I'm by myself, my dogs didn't even want to come see me!
I was going stir crazy!

and then I saw th9is video and went huh... poor bastard

quarantine rap video

enjoy chickies

Buried Treasure

SO TODAY...

I was driving out to walmart to hunt down for a cheap new dresser since mine had become a biohazard beyond saving. on my way there, I was stopped at a stoplight, and looked into the car beside me.

Have you seen The Incredibles? you know how bob is this big man driving around, squished in a little blue square car. Well the man next to me looked exactly like that. A fat man stuffed into a little car. I chuckled at the irony that a huge man would choose such a little car. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

As I was watching this man, staring straight ahead at the light, he proceeded to pick his nose. I was laughing, just watching this older fat man, he then proceeded to eat this unburied treasure in his hand.

EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!

He then swiveled his head towards me and whoever was in the car, and me whipped our head forward and sped away when the light turned that freeing green!

in other news... I have not found a dresser yet! Crap! and my room is still half done during renos.

blargh! So I am now banished to the futon, sleeping with all my shit in chairs and places around me because there is no room for me!

...

Crap!

I Don't Care!!! You're a Troll!

Hello Kiddies,

Here is a video for all of you!

This video is a little brother filming his older brother freak out!

Why?

Because his Mutti canceled his world of Warcraft account

...oh dear

Epic Freakout

The others in the series are ok.. not the best... this one by far is the best, and the funniest, but feel free to check out the others like this one: ironic guitar smashing, violence, danger, danger

...high voltage
Danger in the disco! Fire in the Taco Bell!

You're a troll

Peace out!

Oh Yeah! Kinky!

Today's video:

is from Attack of the Show! I wonderful geek show.

I know the quality is poor, it's from someone using a handy cam in front of the tv, but the whole segment is hilarious. It is actually part of a series.

Boba Fetish Video

Enjoy!

I Don't Wanna Work, I Just Wanna Bang On My Drum All Day!

SO TODAY...

I am working for my dad's office as a temp for his secretary. I pretty much sit at a desk all day, do some photocopying, answer the phone, highlight this, fix that, email here, answer questions there, you know, the usual plugger duties.

There is a phone call I get that is one of the the most frequent calls I get everytime I work here.
The company my father works for has a name very similar to a company here in calgary that is very well known and used. To keep some privacy I won't divulge what the name is, however, the other company provides a service for the home, while here, is an oil and gas comapny.

So here is how the phone call goes:
Me: Good morning, [company name]
person: Can I pay my bill?
me: I'm sorry, sir, you want [other company] this is [the one I work at].
Person: oh... Can I still pay my bill here?
Me: no, sir, you will have to call [other company]
person: oh... do you have the number handy
me: [face palm]

oh well, can't really help all the stupid people out there I guess.

So today, is a very special day, it would normally not be a very special day, but it is, it is! It is not only a very merry unbirthday to me, it is FRIDAY!!!

Heck yeah baby!

Today is only special because of what happens on saturday and sunday! It's my first weekend off in months! Whoo Hoo!!!!

Especially after the week I just had.

So this past wednesday, I was doing laundry in my room after some emergency renos, and everything cloth-like needed to be washed, in between laundry loads, I watched the Half Blood Prince for the first time, and painted my toenails.
There was about 15-20 mins left of the movie when my phone rings, and it's my work calling.

They asked where I was, I said "at home" and they informed me that I was late to start for my 3 o'clock shift, I said that it was tomorrow that I worked not today, they disagreed and said I should be there. So, I panic after almost throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old. (" I don't wanna go to work, NO!!!!!")
I dragged my sorry ass to work, and turns out (oops) it is tomorrow that I work, not today!

would you look at that!
I was so mad!!! That temper tantrum I almoist had early, almost rose back to the surface, but oh well, I stayed for 4 hours and worked. They needed to help.

So YAY!!! WEEKEND OFF WEEKEND OFF!!

I promise to share and be a friend... no wait, I may not be completely friendly, but I will try and scout out more videos and blog about my adventures!!

Ciao Bellas!

Bonus Game!

A little gift for you Kiddies.

In case you have not heard or seen yet, the video for Lady Gaga's Telephone was released yesterday! It is messed up, a little weird but pretty awesome nonetheless.

So for all of you, here... watch! I Dare You!

Telephone Video


Ciao

Hello Hello Baby, You Called, I Can't Hear A Thing

SO TODAY...

I pondered on the fate of humanity, and where we as a civilization is heading.

explanation:

Yesterday, I got a phone call 15 minutes before closing from a customer, an middle aged man named Guy (or so he said). He proceeded to tell me that the bread he bought says that it was baked on the 13th (note that TODAY is the 13th, not yesterday), I said that I would check and see if it was an error on my label machine, and went to check the other loaves on his insistence. Sure enough, there were no other loaves marked for the 13th, except those that had to marked down because it was to be sold my the 13th.

I got back on the phone and discussed my findings. He proceeded to tell me that his computer, cell phone, fax and palm pilot all said that it was the 13th. he said that it was weird and that he was freaking out. I told him that I was sorry but I could not help him and hoped that he figured out why it said the wrong date. And proceeded to hang up.

... I either just got prank called or someone was off their meds.

If it was the man off of his pills, why call me and ask me why everything says the 13th.

no offense, I really don't give a shit!

And if it was someone who decided to prank call me, why would you be in your 40's and call co-op to prank call someone? I'm not going to yell at you, I get yelled at enough and deal with ridiculously stupid questions every day, what can you possibly say that would make it worth the prank?

honestly people... all this "Guy" person really did was give me a subject for another blog post.

Windows 7 Was My Idea!!!

video video video

Windows 7 Parody

Check it out Kiddies!

Please accept this video as an offering to appease your grumpiness from me not updating!

Down the Rabbit Hole

SO TODAY...

I was reflecting on my past adventures that rendered my too busy to write! Forgive me I have been busy in my alternate life, being a corporate slave doing mindless and mundane work that without people like me, would never get done. And then where would Corporate America be?

anywho... I went to go see the new Disney, Tim Burton collaboration, their new Frankenstein, and there was the impending dread of the massacre of a beloved childfhood story. Alice In Wonderland.

I wondered if "Frankenstein" would carry more Disney flair's or Tim Burton's morbid touch. Trith be told ...

[SPOILER ALERT]
...Well I'll try not to spoil it.

anytwho, the battle between talking animals and dead singing corpses ended up with the corpses leaving their rotting entrails all over this piece. IT WAS AWESOME!!!

If you are a purist, then this is not the film for you, as it is the sequel to Alice in Wonderland, when Alice returns to Wonderland. It was awesome.

The film is vaguely sexual, and yet there is a purity, and there seems to hint more morbid back stories to the characters that is written in the original text. The bright characters are darker then they appear, and the dark characters have hints of light. The dis figuration of the Red Queen (played by Helena Boham Carter) is seemless and the 3-D glasses give it the extra oomph that make you realize just how big her head really is.

There! I will leave it at that. I will not spoil it for all the kiddies that haven't seen it.

Anywho... my loser-ish friends and I dressed up, and apparently people thought we were promoting the movie.

I spent the day before sewing 3 costumes, my own and 2 others. I was the red queen, and I made the white hair's tunic, and the hat and tail for the door mouse.

[PICTURES TO FOLLOW SOON!!!!]

anywho... later we went to the pub to wish one of my best friends a happy 20th birthday!
Happy Birthday Jordan Baby
My friend told me that if I took a good picture of her then she would pay for my ticket (she pre ordered all our tickets to Alice in Wonderland), I will be opening a poll to see if you think the picture is nice. Keep in mind, that she apparently (according to her) does not appear in photos well, and always stays in one position, so I have very few angles to work with

(pst... side with me so I don't have to pay for my ticket!!!)
CAUSE YOU LOVE ME!

...love me?

Off With Her Head!

SO TODAY...

I have been black mailed into dressing up for the Alice in Wonderland... as the Red Queen.

the others?
My friend Amanda: Gothic Alice
my fiance Tony: The Marc Hare
Bryan Buddy: The Mad Hatter
Devo + Kevin: Tweedle dee and Tweedle Dum
Meghan and Darci: just dressy in pretty pretty dresses

I tried on my lovely red dress, made my crown, necklace and scepter. But what I realized what my friends see me for: BOOBS!!!

All my friends see when they see me is big, giant, face burying boobs.

In my beautiful shiny dress, that is long and flowy and gorgeous, and every eye in the room was on my bountiful bosom. even the females. She groped my boobs more than my fiance did.

anywho in other news,
I'm gonna see Alice in Wonderland on Friday, and I am currently watching Boondock Saints for the very first time in my lie! It is awesome... and somewhat predictable. with it's own dash of epic-ness.

Eeeeee I'll post pictures! of all the costumes!
WWWHhheeeeeee!!!!!

Great...Now What?

SO TODAY...

I found out something rather interesting.

No I didn't win the lottery, and no the world is not going to end in 2012.

I was sort of eavesdropping. I didn't do it intentionally! I swear!
My fiance and his dad were having a little chat just about things that are making the other unhappy, that sort of thing.
I knew I was a bit of a sore spot for them. I told a little lie and got caught [whoops] but made my amends, but it doesn't go away that easily. I didn't know how they'd react to something that had happened to me, and even though I thought it was good, not everyone would see it that way and I was embarassed that it wasn't the "true" path of success. So I omitted it from conversation and directed it towards other things, well, despite my best efforts they found out.

Anywho, I knew my fiance tends to lose his temper, so I wanted to see how it was going, make sure no punches were gonna get thrown. I took a quick listen and this is what I heard.

My future father-in-law thinks I think he's an asshole, and that I can't look him in the eye.

... [Jaw drop]
excuse me?

I don't think he's an asshole, I think he's a great guy and a good influence on his kids. but the man can be terribly stoic, and I'm awkward sometimes...

... it doesn't mesh well

I like to think of myself as a vacuum [ yes, I suck.. hardy har har!].
I take in how people react, I throw a little bait out there, and if you seem open to some of my humor or ideas, we'll get along like old friends.
I don't really get any response from his dad, he just kind of stares. and the more he stares, the more I get awkward, the more awkward I get, the more he stares, and thinks I think he's an asshole... see the dilemma?

Well I hope someone sets him straight.. as I can't really without indicating that I was eavesdropping [it is the truth], I think he's a great person that I can learn a lot from and would be a fantastic grandpa, I almost think of him as a father figure, someone who can help me fix my car and ask how things work that I really have no clue, [He is an engineer, you know...smarty pants] He looks like he's a hard man and at first the man absolutely terrified me, but now after 3+ years, I know he's a big softy, and cares very deeply for his family, and my fiance is very lucky to have him as a father.

maybe I should try another joke with him? nah! I could see how terribly that would turn out
Yeah don't mind me, I'm just the girl that your son is having sex with... eek!
[AAAWWWWKKKWWWAAAARRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD]

and people say it's hard to face the girl's father!!!!!

[Meep!] What to do????

Gasp! Two for the Price of One

So because it has been nearly 5 days since I last posted, I decided I would post twice.

... no not a repeat of what I just wrote, just a little video I found while surfing through music videos.

I thought it was pretty funny!

Telephone Video

Enjoy Kid-lits

Just One More!

SO TODAY...

boys and girls...

I must talk about a very important issue: Addiction.

Addiction is a scary thing that makes people do extraordinary things, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling... or buying dice.

For Example:

My dear friend was introduced to the world of dice from some "friends". They said it was cool, and fun. So she said "ok" and bought her first set of dice. Never did the thought cross her mind that one day, she wouldn't be able to stop buying dice.

Soon it came that every Monday on Games Night, Lila [names have been changed to protect the innocent... or maybe just crazy]would have new dice to add to her growing box. Green ones, blue ones, sparkly ones, small ones, big ones. It did not matter, they were new dice. Soon she would do anything for them.

It came a time when I had to step in when my dear friend Lila, was soon hooking on the street corner by Chinook Mall, just for some measly crack change so that she could go back to Sentry Box and buy a couple more. Just a few more, she'd say.

Eventually it came to a time to try the cold turkey approach, I locked her in a cage in my basement for a month, feeding her table scraps and leftovers, or whatever was in my fridge at the time. But somehow, there would be more in her box.
She claimed they multiplied on their own, hmmm... dice sex?

Soon I gave her to the professionals, some company made up of extremely dorky men.

... I haven't seen her since, but every once in a while, I get a a little box in the mail of dice, and I know she's ok.

no seriously people, addiction is a very scary thing and should be handled accordingly. It almost ruined my life, being a spectator to watch the train wreck of a loved one. Please turn it over to the professionals or the tried and true methods. Chances are, even though you love them, by taking matters into your own hands you'll only make it worse, and drive them away.


... PS. VOTE!!! ONLY 8 DAYS LEFT!

Pokemon Blessings to You

SO TODAY...

is games night (SQUEE!) and will contain some drunken stupor (without the booze) and violent tendencies, on paper with dice flying flying in every direction, and chips acting like confetti. with curses and victories. with alternate identities and no fear.

WHOO HOO!

couple nights ago i taught some old men disguised in 20 year old male bodies how to play a terrific oldie game called Canasta.
We even pulled out the visors and talked like old people to set the appropriate mood.
All we were missing were the pants up to our eye balls, the cigars, a glass for my dentures and soft gummy food.

I won I won!! :)

Later that day (being pretty much later that day, as the game went on a long time), I decided a book would suit my attentions. My fiance decided for pokemon.

[bows down to the glorified picture of my fiance with 6 arms and pokemon surrounding his feet]

Praise to God Anthony, all powerful and knowledgeable about all that is pokemon

Jesus Christ! the man sits there and knows how to beat every pokemon there is. I finally played my first game (leaf green) and I sat there beside my sweetheart and go
"This pokemon showed up, how do I beat it, what do I use?"

[offers pokemon merch and preorder of new game soul silver game is a gift to the great god]
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

ps...
PLEASE VOTE!!! ONLY 3 PEOPLE HAVE VOTED!!! PATHETIC!!!

please... love?

Forward Onward Men!

SO TODAY... (and yesterday)I pondered on my upcoming food crusade.

I know I was slightly vague and maybe not exactly in a selling mood, so it didn't sound very fun, I know.

So I decided that I needed to go into more detail: Set a time, an outline, restrictions, ect.

I decided that I will give myself a year to do this, with school, and work and well... life... that seems to be a pressure to get it done.
I will start June 1st of this year, which gives me till next June, to complete my education.
Any sugestions would be appreciated.
With 69 different places.. none not very close to my house and being a broke student.. whoo hoo! I see dollars slipping out of my pocket considering some of the places. I think 69 is too little for a year. I think that I should do more than 69 places for 365 days. I GIVE THE DECISION TO YOU MY READERS BECAUSE I CARE! SO VOTE DAMMIT!

I guarantee that there will be pictures and posts about other things than the food. Critique will include service , pricing, even decor and atmosphere.

The Food Crusade is about more than just the food and what my taste buds experience. It's about my eyes, ears, nose and smell. And I hope that I can provide some entertaining feedback that may convince you to eat there.

Good Food is Important!

other news?
I've been babysitting sick people for the week. Mostly one, my fiancee.

Fiance: cough, cough, weeze [snot running from his nose, eyes swollen with gunk at the corners] Love you sweetheart

Me: LLllllooovvveee you too [winces, as he kisses me] yes, of course you're still sexy

I love him dearly, but having things seep from all orifices does not exactly make me want to jump you. Oh my, I can see how that would go.

Oh yes, you know all the dirty things I'm gonna do to you. Here let me tie your hands, it's all up to me what you get tonight. Oh yeah, baby. there now you can't use your hands and feet. Now let me slip on this blindfold baby. oh here, let me get you a tissue to blow your nose. I'm just gonna throw it over here. Ick! alright, I'm going to be right back I just have to go get... something... yeah, a feather duster. All for your pleasure baby. You don't have one? Well I guess I have to go get one.
[runs away]

... Here's me running away

Pouting Like a Small Child

So today, about 6 hours ago someone had to rope my foot in a lasso and drag my sorry ass to work, kicking and screaming
AAAAAHHHHH NO NO NO NO NO!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO IT! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!
[ten distinct scrape marks on the ground lead the trail of where I've been]

I really really really wanted to quit and be done with the whole place.

It shouldn't be called Calgary Co-op Bakery, it should be called (the worst of) High School.

SO... MUCH... DRAMA
(which is usually the same for any workplace)

My shoulders have knots the size of a basketball from the tug-a-war for my loyalty
whiny voice one: I'm right, right?
whiny voice two: No I'm right
OW! Stop ripping me apart!

anywho I went to work, fearing the worst. I said to myself that if anyone gave me crap tonight, I would quit on the spot and walk out that door, waving my middle finger like a blazing banner.

... and then I remembered why I like where I work. It's not the job or the drama, or the pay for that matter (but money is always a good thing)

It's the people.

It's not the people who fight for my affection (although they are usually nice people too), it's the people who have the "I really don't give a shit about your shit" attitude. The people who go to work and have a good time... and still work!

So I treated myself to some nice chai tea and am now watching my new NCIS DVD that I got for valentine's day from my sweetie.

No I do not really believe that this day is a celebration of love, it's just an excuse to buy stuff for my loverboy that he would normally tell me not too.

Valentine's day is not a day of celebrating love... that's everyday!!!

[breaks out into song]

Stop! In the name of love,
until you break my heart...

come on sing with me!
no?
How about...

I'm gonna run to you!
Oh! I'm gonna run to you,
When the feeling's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

oh wait... isn't that song about an affair?
whatever it's catchy *snaps fingers*
[proceeds to dance like the white girl I am]
...aw shit, not again!

Many Apologies Dear Sir/Madame

Sorry Sorry Sorry

I know I haven't posted in a few days! Shame on me.

I have been SUPER busy. I know it's the same excuse any other person who is supposed to update regularly who don't do it... something about work drama and not feeling particularly pleasant, both physically and mentally.

Anywho, on to my shenanigans!

The other day while roaming the town sized Walmart, I found an old movie that I remember loving that I don't even remember what the plot was:

JUMANGI!

One of the things I remember when watching it as a kid. AND WAS TOTALLY PETRIFIED!
It is one of the reasons that I am deadly afraid of wasps. (in the movie it was mosquitoes but they try to "sting" you... so in some weird sense it fits)

The second a young Kirsten Dunst appeared no the screen everyone is the room started shouting "You sucked in Spiderman!"
Yes... we were giving advice for her future, so that maybe she would avoid some big flops. yes... were trying to save her!

what else is new? This is a big announcement for anyone who is reading my blog! I have great news of some more shenanigans:

The Food Crusade
Dun Dun Dun! DOOM!

Starting in a few months I will be going to 69 (yes I picked that number for a reason) places to eat in the city (Calgary) and will write reviews for them. (Whee food poisoning!) It will include tea and coffee, fine dining, and casual places. If anyone has any recommendations, or suggestions, I would love to hear them!

oh god! I forsee hours on the treadmill!
*pant* *pant* *pant* Chocolate *pant*
*pant* steak *pant*
*pant* weird blue meat? *pant*

[slips on treadmill and get's thrown from it]

God Damn! I am gonna gain some pretty poundage!
FEE FI FO FUM! I am a giant fat thing who is stomping the town of CALGARY
GIVE ME FOOD!

[Plays Blue Oyster Cult's Godzilla}
Go Go Godzilla

RAWR!!!

Me no like planes flying in face
[Closes eyes and bats at it like a sissy girl]
EEeeeEEEee!!

Hallelujah!

Today, I was dazzled by a scary image.

A bus was charging right at the vehicle I was in, on the passenger side of the car.

The side I was on.

No I am not writing this from a hospital bed, and my friend is not bawling because his baby is toasted. Instead, it honked at us angrily.

And we floored it out of there.

Today I went to the new Walmart Super Center

...It was like the herald angels were singing praising to the Gods of Walmart

It was so huge, I was overwhelmed the second I walked in there. It was so big that I bought over 200$ worth of stuff I really didn't need (or really could afford).

It took till I got home to realize my mistake and now I'm trying to come up with the courage to take it all back. It's stuff I don't need and I'd rather fill up my vehicle than have some new gadget on my already cramped desk.

...Ok breath! In! Out! they aren't monsters with fangs, they won't kill you!

but they'll look at me with that disappointed look or the look that says Oh God! Don't you have anything better to do then piss me off

or the ever popular insult towards me...

BITCH!

oh well... another day another adventure!
TALLY HO!!!

Play That Funky Music White Boy... I Mean Girl

So my future mother in law said something rather quaint yesterday at dinner. We were celebrating my brother in law's birthday, eating a fancy steak and lobster meal in the nice formal dinning room. It was all a rather classy evening.

She was talking about how she had a tuna wrap the other day, and it had dripped on her.

No she didn't talk about how it tasted or good it was or anything of the sort. This is what she said:

"Eeeewww.... My hands smell like pussy."

My jaw just about fell in the plate of deliciousness in front of me.

Later that night after I just about peed myself laughing with my mother in law, I have started to plant the seeds for my novel ideas.

one included someone suffering from complete psychosis, hallucinating and trying to kill people

the other in some world sort of resembling Howl's Movie Castle (one of the best books and movies ever!)

...maybe they'll somehow connect!

somehow today has been a good day, I find myself right now at the computer listening to club music with my little (but legal) sister, it compels me to dance!
AAHHHH I'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED... must...dance... like white... girl!!!

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I've succumbed to the dance urge and now look like complete loser

... not that it's any different from any other given day

sudden urge to drink excessively and grind against anything with a penis
SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!

Something's Hinky!

So today I find myself in some sort of harness hanging from the roof, and someone is taking punches at my stomach. Oof!

OR

My stomach is very upset and doesn't want to stop hurting.

So I have spent the day watching shows and movies which included:
More Dead Like Me (Yay!)
The Holiday
and NCIS

Whoo Hoo!
NCIS is my FAV show of all time! and I love Dead Like Me
The Holiday?
I know, I know! It's a chick flick! But I like it! Squee! It's one of the things on my "I'm Embarrassed to Admit" List.

That also includes:
The wedding date
My big fat Greek wedding
Britney Spears
Charmed
The Sims game
Obsessively planning my wedding
And watching wedding shows

To name a few...


OOOooooo Exciting! Today my package came in! It was a:

STAR WARS RPG BOOK

For the Dark Side players, and I'm still waiting for one to explicitly explain the force.

OOooo OOooo OOOooo more exciting news:
I finished my back story for my Star Wars character: Aneena

...It was only 26 pages long

OooOOooOOOOoo Abbey is being awesome now, must pay attention!

Peace out!

Aww! Such a Cute Little Monster

So today my stomach felt like a baby monster was trying to rip it's way out of my abdomen.
The doctor says it's just food poisoning. I think it's death with a side of bitter or that someone is thinking very bad thoughts towards me.

...very very bad thoughts

thoughts that include complete and sheer agony that includes setting my body on fire and made me feel like I was traversing the saudi arabia desert!

now I'm bundled up on the couch watching mindless tv, like singing dancing inanimate objects (Whoo hoo Disney!)

I settled on a show that's all about how I feel: Death!
Watching the morbid comedy that is Dead Like Me.

I am very disappointing that it only lasted 2 season, and a movie.

Oooooo sudden craving for garlic toast! Too bad I am dirt poor! Argh! I hate being a starving student! RAWR!

Snorlax! Snor...

So today, my friends and I have reached an all new level of geekyness.

We have made a pokemon role playing game.

... yeah you're telling me

There are 6 types of people:
watcher: someone who draws and watches pokemon (think bird watcher)
researcher: think professor oak, but out in the world
coordinator: someone who tries to compete and win prizes with their pokemon
trainer: a pokemon trainer
breeder: a pokemon breeder
specialist: someone who collect one specific type of pokemon (fire, water, bug ect..)

oh and for the crazy people, the cosplayer, someone who dresses up as their pokemon, they only collect one type, like a specialist.

... is it terrible that I volunteered for that position, and now feel sad because I couldn't be a cosplayer, because I am the coordinator and that means I need one of every type of pokemon to compete

MMmmmm... Nyquil good!
*cough cough weeze cough*
[hacks out a lung]

GGAAAHHHHH!!!!
[Throws on Snorlax costume]
Growl... SNORLAX (translation: sleepy! and sick)!!!
[flops down in a corner]
ZZZzZzzzZZzzzZZZzzz

The Pen is Mightier than thy Sword

So I've decided to write a novel...

great start... now what?

My fiance says that I have the talent and should do it, but I can't think of where to start.

I had a few ideas in the past, but they never got anywhere. I can start a story and it'll be awesome idea.. but somewhere along the way, it just falls apart

like a badly made porno.

[check out pterodactyl porn... the actors forget they're pterodactyls and really get into what they are doing]

So anywho... It's not like I can make an entire novel about how pterodactyls probably aren't even interested in a female woman who just happens to be naked

any ideas?

And if I wrote.. since I am getting married, should I have a nom de plume?

oh jesus, I can only imagine the ideas for a nom de plume

Candy McCiss
Suzy Strawberry
Pamela Lickson
Summer Palmer

...oh wait, those would be my porn names... whoops!

At Last

So... Tonight I watched the awesomeness that is the Return of the Jedi.

I think that the rolling script at the begining of the movies is the get out of jail free cards for movie producers.
A tasteful budget cut if you will.
This way, they could say that pigs now fly due to technical implants, and guess what? nobody would have to explain in the film. they could show a background of pigs flying, and nobody would have to be like
"Oh that crazy scientist guy was a genius with helping those poor non-flying pigs"

when every word costs something then well that was like what? $100000

Whoo hoo! flying pigs!

What is with the childish games at the end? Han Solo goes up to a storm trooper and taps his shoulder, and runs away.
Hee hee Tag! You're it! [runs like sissy little girl]
OH! Tee hee! you got caughtby my group of other sissy girls who won't shoot you either!
JUST F'IN SHOOT HIM ALREADY!

Random Question: Does Mara Jade make an appearance in Return of the Jedi, I heard some rumors...

Fighting ewoks would be really weird... not because of how they look or anything, but it would be my worst nightmare to be mauled by a teddy bear! I mean come on.. a childhood plaything eating you to death... AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Hee hee! the ewoks are adorable, all cute and cuddly like giant teddy bears

well most of them anyways

some of them, are not very. they look like old yappy purse dogs, or things that make me say...
OH MY GOD
... I mean yyyyeeessss of course that is a very attractive look, very appealing.

but the little baby ewok
SQUEE!!!
It is so adorable. I'm afraid I'll pull a Jamie from girls with slingshots (An AWESOME comic)

http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/GWS443.html

...God knows I have a big enough rack for it. MMmmmm big sexy boobs!

OOOOOooooo objectifying myself
... does that make me a pervert?

It's the End of the World as We Know it... and I Feel Fine!

STRESS!! RRRAAAAWWWWRRRRRR!!!
HAIR FALLING OUT IN CLUMPS!!!
AAAHHHH I'M GONNA BE BALD SOON!!!!

Today was an exam for cookies. The practical part of it. I have 3 1/2 hours to do a set amount of cookies.
one of the doughs is for 2 cookies, and I had to make it the night before.
... I didn't realize until I got on the train that I only made enough for 1 type not 2

SSSSOOOO.... I had to make the second dough and throw it in the freezer, and that threw my whole schedule off by about half an hour or so!
So not only am I behind, I have more to do now!

In the end... I didn't end up finishing my exam. I missed putting leaves on my rose and printing on the cake "Happy Birthday".

I have never not finished an exam. I was really crushed. And I got a poor grade on my theory test from yesterday. When I normally get A's!

So I ended the day crying from the stress of it all, and stripped out of my whites in the hall to change for some happy spectators. I just wanted to go home!!!

And bit into a delicious calorie filled whopper, dripping with sauce, complete with a cheesy poutine ( ...here fatty fatty fatty)

[Duct tapes clumps of hair back on bald spots]

...[sigh of relaxation] much, much better

There's Always a First

So today was a day of firsts

It's official...
I FUCKING HATE DECORATING COOKIES!!!

today was the very first time, since I have started my course, that I have been frustrated at anything. I can make and bake cookies till the cows decide they friggin' wanna come home, but for the love of god! I could not decorate these cookies nicely!
They looked like utter shit!

Well some of them anyways. most of them went to the marketplace (which means they got the big stamp of approval from my chef), but some of them...
I groan aloud whenever I think of how terrible they looked.
The piping bags kept exploding, my chocolate kept getting lumpy, the coatings had air bubbles in them, and some only got half decorated!

My mother must be right (SSSssshhhh! Don't tell her!)
"Oh my god! You are too hard on yourself!" She says everyday that I tell her about my mistakes.
Still... I did not do 2 types out of 8 cookies! I had no time!
but it sucks, the other students had 4 instead of 3 days to do these damn cookies.
... I hate getting sick! it means I get a disadvantage!

I may have been so frustrated, my hands are again a lovely shade of bright (hideous) pink, and muscles I didn't even know I had in my hand are hurting like a bitch.

.... but oh my god! They were bloody delicious
and totally worth it ( <---Don't tell anyone it's a secret!)

oh oh oh and another first.

I watched almost all of the empire stikes back.
Yes yes I know Boo Hiss! for not watching it before today, and I'm pretty peeved at myself. But who cares...
IT WAS AWESOME!!!

Rawr... I'm a dinosaur! (waves arms around like T-Rex claws)
om nom nom, cookie good!

The Worst of 80's Cartoons

Has anyone ever seen Dungeons and Dragons? the animated series? It's from 1983... before I was even born!

IT IS TERRIBLE
It is full of terribly done animation. Complete with voice acting done by retards, the token black girl and a completely ridiculous unicorn that was a total rip off of Scooby Doo! oh oh and a rich spoiled rich kid, who does nothing but complain.
"uuggghhh.. I wish I had daddy's limo"

...I'm not even kidding...
But I can't stop watching!

check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfif5DiGMYc

Rawr of Awesomness

So tonight was supposed to be the night that my GM (game master) revealed something totally awesome about my Star Wars character. Aneena is not only a noble with black market connections, she's also a secret Sith apprentice.
We're planning in the time of Darth Bane. Which means that there is in place the "Rule of Two". There is only 1 Sith and 1 Sith apprentice... and I'm a third Sith apprentice, which means there is another Sith Lord...

*Gasp*

So anywho... it's been a bit of a let down. no one really gave a flying fuck...
thanks for caring guys (kidding kidding!)
It didn't really help that they were all distracted by something else, and not assassinating the person we were sent to kill, whom which I fried with force lightning (MMMmmm crispy chicken!)
it's a bit of anticlimactic day... which does not bode well for my inner drama queen!

oh well my character is kick ass and I love her anyway... I won't emphasize the point that she could most likely kick all their asses. Bruise their male ego a little!

oh well it was a better day in real life... I got my show!
they took me out of class in a wheelchair! Whoo Hoo!
I got a little dizzy, fell over, from evident overexertion... such drama queens!

I was totally fine!

to end this on a lighter note... I'm writing my own Star Wars run.

WOOKIEPEDIA IS GOD!
Who knew that there was so much useless information on Star Wars

Whoo Hoo!

So last night, after work, I had a tasteful evening out with my friends. There might have been a few drinks, but the conversation was sophisticated, and full of philosophical meaning. It had wholesome entertainment, that sparkled and dazzled.

... or maybe it was just her G-String that sparkled.

and oh boy were the 7 inch platform heels hot!!! Aw man! If I wasn't happily attached to an attractive man, Girls like that would make me want to be a lesbian.
... Maybe he'd let me bring an attractive girl into our bed. Rawr!
oh god! no wonder my supervisor thinks I'm a lesbian!

I got posters for most of them and they even signed them and... ooh ooh ooh ooh!!
I GOT A T-SHIRT!!!!

It says "I'm in love with a stripper!" and our group was the loudest so she was throwing out magnets and t-shirts! I caught the t-shirt! Whoo Hoo!

I've been meaning to buy a stripper pole to install in my house. Although I probably should wait to move out of my parent's basement. I'm not sure they'll really approve, oh and my future in-laws will really love me!
... It's good exercise I swear!
and my fiance says he condones this!

And then after the French Maid, we went the the Rat and Parrot! For some awesome Drunken Karaoke!!!

So all in all it was a FANTASTIC night! Sexy girls, booze, people making fools of themselves (me included), karaoke, and drunk friends!

We gonna do this again soon!

Anime Style

So here it is, the beginning if my destiny.

I may be young and inexperienced, but I have my mission. Today is the day, I sail into the sunrise of fate, claiming my stake in honor.

As the wind rolls through my stiff anime like hair, dyed an impossible blue color, I survey the little town below me from atop this mountain. It is a long steep way down.

I will catch them all

[POKEMON THEME SONG]
Gotta catch em all Pokemon!

Today, DOUCHE I will beat you!

Oh shit! the wind got my fugly ass barret, come back
[Trips over rock]
Ouch! Fuck!
[rolls down the mountain]

SSSSHHHHHIIIITTTTT!

... Team Rocket is blasting off again!

Death to Small Torture Device

I fucking hate alarm clocks!

no I do not despise, I do know dislike... I fucking HATE them!!!

This morning, my fiance's alarm clock kept going on and on and on, he'd finally push the snooze button, and I get deja vu 5 minutes later.

... and he really didn't want to get out of bed.

So when he finally got out of bed, my alarm clock is set 45 minutes to an hour after my fiance's, it rang 5 minutes after he got out of bed

I was ready to throw my phone at the fucking wall and would not have been any happier unless it shattered to little metal peices everywhere.

if the phone would scream, I would have been a lot happier to hear it's pitiful cries for mercy!

oh boy... I think I've finally lost it!

Brownie Vomit

Love Poem for my Mixer:

Oh mixer, oh mixer
oh how love you mixer.
the beauty whom i call
stella
Your sparkling silver eyes
that with but a wink
will change the mixer setting
will you favor me
with smooth batter for
cookies cake delicious treats

your beautiful body
sleek and shiny
designed for speed or
for pleasing tenderness
why do you will
that your contents spill
all over me

do you despise me so?

as bountiful as your projectile vomit
is delicious
do you wish me away
oh mixer
oh stella

is our love a forbidden one?
oh stella
stella

STELLA!!!

ps... for anyone who don't know me, that is a joke
i love my mixer but that is so wrong on so many levels.

but it's also true... that my mixer loves to throw up on me. recently it's been brownie batter and strawberry buttercream icing

so today I was a complete idiot (which is less than a stone's throw away from every other day). I believed I had 2 days 4 hours a piece to do 8 different types of cookies, baked and decorated and I hadn't fully completed any of them on the first day (most of them needed to be refrigerated overnight)
So there's half an hour left on the clock and I had only fully completed one and almost 2 others. I still have to melt chocolate and a pulled out a dough to cut and bake. My chef said the dough is too soft and needs to be put in the fridge, so i start to get frusterated.

not panicky like oh my god! I'm running out of time. More frusterated. like Fuck this shit! [throws spatula] fuck the chocolate that keeps petrifying! fuck the cookies that are still too warm. Fuck! i have over 5 dozen cookies to decorate!!

All the while everyone around me hasn't even finished baking all their cookies!

Turns out I have 3 days! 4 more hours to decorate everything. It'll take way less than that to finish!

so I got frustrated for absolutely nothing!

Rawr! She-Hulk Angry!

ok not really.. more exhausted then anything

Someone's Bottom is Very Red

so my hands are bright pink!

... it's not from spanking my sex slave, although he's been a naughty very naughty boy
and it's not blood from my sworn enemies (that's monday nights)
and I sure haven't been fingerpainting.

I've been making cookies! YAY!

... 8 different types of cookies in 4 hours... yay?

one of them requires color. pink of all colors. why not red, or blue or even green. or the best color in the world. purple!

no, it had to be pink. Oh well, now my hands are a lovely shade of the color, and it won't come off for days!

... maybe i'll stick with the sex slave story.

why does flavored buttercream look like it's curdled. I just about threw away some buttercream that looked like it had curdled until my chef stopped me. thank god!

is panic contagious? I think so, if my class is any indication. My class seems to believe that every day we are in the shop, it's the end of the world. They run around like bloody chickens with their heads chopped off!
heehee blood everywhere! Whee!

why can't people have the foresight to come prepared. to look at what they have to do for that day and make an idea of what needs to go first. it takes 5 minutes. not even. lazy bastards!

ah yes tomorrow is another day of more pink hands.. hmm sex!
[ whistles at sex slave]

Ode to Walmart

oh walmart!
The vastness of random crap people decide they need. Oh place of toys, clothes, cars, and old christmas trees.
... with a semi decent electronics section.

[Scene 1 Act 1]
The place? An aisle coated with plastic beings in a multitude of sizes and shapes.
the characters? Two geeks.

the action? LIGHTSABER FIGHT!!!

you know you are totally awesome when you play with plastic lightsabers, acting like they're real. I lost an arm and gutted my opponent.
and then we threw basketballs at each other.

I'm sure if there was any employees around, I would have been asked to leave.
I'm very tempted to go back and get those lightsabers. If only they had a double ended lightsaber.

... I am geek, Hear me roar!

Argh! Can't get it off of me!

Today I reek like geek! And I can't get it off of me.
...ever get the feeling?

Last night was games night (whoo hoo!) and we played Star Wars (think Dungeons and Dragons.. but Star Wars style). It was so much fun!
My character (Aneena) is someone who I find rather easy to slip into and out of when playing. Which makes all the difference when you make decisions of what your character does.

anywho.. a night of rolling dice (they get everywhere!), and eating corn dogs that can be cooked in a microwave for just a minute and be done. Loads of pop (and beer for whoever isn't driving), and you have a ball... If we could stay focused long enough.

I find that for the first few hours, we are super focused, like this is real and we really are fighting for our lives, and then the bigger the group gets, the more distracted we get!
And our GM (Game Master)? oh... my... freaking... god!
He is the most ADD GM I have ever met! If anyone is distracted, so is he.

And those people who are easily distracted, really don't care enough! When it's their turn they'll say something dumb like " I throw a grenade"

... WE'RE TRYING TO BE SNEAKY HERE! YOU IS NOT SO VERY SNEAKY! GRENADE GO BOOM!BIG BOOM!!!

I want to slice-ee their throats and you will give me away! I cannot be ninja bringer of death if you go mucking it up!

I love you very very much! Please come and play! [creepy little girl voice: Play with mmmeeeeee]

To all of you who go to a games group (like me) if all you want to do is lie on the floor and do dick all and not play, PLEASE GO AWAY!

oh god... I really care about a fictional game...

... I is geek.. and I can't get the smell off of me!

Arigato! Aritgato!

Today, I went with my family to the Japanese Village downtown.
It was so much fun, entertaining and delicious.

The chef was a clown! But amazing! juggling spatulas and making big fire (Oog! Cavewoman like fire!).

My fiance's little brother stared so intently at the chef, I think he has found his calling! If he wasn't such a picky eater, I would believe that he was made for those types of arts!
It was like he was watching porn! That each group of food on that grill at our table was a different chick, and he was eye fucking all of them... without touching himself of course!
I mean for god's sake we were in public... not that that has stopped me in the past!

... porn good!

food porn? Even better!

Emotional Pizza! The Best Kind!

So I was surfing the channels the other day, stopped on Geek TV (Squee!)
Watched "Attack of the Show", and they put up this funny little cartoon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6tSyDHXViM

Now I was pretty much pissing myself laughing!

So this morning I decided I would cheer myself up by watching it again. It was still funny.
Hope you enjoyed it!

Pikachu?

So today is the day of a friend's funeral. He committed suicide on tuesday.
Him and I were great friends in high school, but we lost touch after that.
...boy, do I have regrets.

I wish that I had kept contact. I wish that he didn't kill himself. I wish that I sent him the message on facebook (yes, crackbook) that I was meaning to do, I also wish I could go to his funeral.

...It's today... And I was working.

People my age (early 20's p.s) should not be burying their friends, we shouldn't be going to their funerals. We might go to your friend's grandparent's funeral. even their parents. But it somehow seems unatural and unholy to be going to a memorial or viewing of your friend.
I have never done well with death.

It also doesn't help that I also recently tried to kill myself (more about that later, folks).
I feel mighty low that he succeeded where I failed. Not that I want to succeed! I just hope that I don't go out like that. That people say they like me only because I'm dead.

I posted my status (yes, crackbook again) as R.I.P Pie Guy.. and everyone goes "I know how you feel! It's so sad, we were close"
No you bloody were not!
You didn't talk to him everyday, you didnt't go visit him in the hospital the last time he tried to off himself. you didn't care until he was a cold corpse in a square box!

Today, I drove past the place where his funeral was taking place and saw all the cars, getting ready for the procession. I just wanted to cry! I could not be there.
And then...

I had to wear heinous ugly bright yellow shirt! It was for a promotion at the store I work at.
They ordered me an XL
... I'm a medium!

So I felt like total shit, had to work, and looked like a fat-fat!

Don't get me wrong I ain't no twig! I am a very very curvy girl, that people mistake for fat, but it used to be fat. I used to be over 100 lbs more than I am now, but this didn't really help my self esteem.

God has a cruel sense of humor (if he exists)!

Well at least I got a nifty nickname out of it... Pikachu!
My others friends were: Magic school bus, banana in pajama, and bumblebee
I might just go the whole week saying "Pikachu", stay as in tune as I can with the character.

... that might not go very well when talking to customers.
"Where's the Bread?"
"Pikachu!"
"Pardon..."

... I hope I don't get fired!

My Very First Post

So this is my very first blog post...
Think of it as a running commentary on my life. Of the good and that bad.. and the terribly mundane.
...Well I'll attempt not to be mundane!

So who (or what) is the blog about? Well it's about me, and my adventures. In the modern 21st century, there really isn't a lot that would interest everyone to read about my life. But I would hope that someone would.

I started this blog as a place to write everything that I feel, or see, or think of. A place to put it all into the nothingness that is the internet.

so as a gamer, geek, baker chick who needs a place to put her insanity, this will be my "box" of insanity.
I will put it here.