Brownie Vomit

Love Poem for my Mixer:

Oh mixer, oh mixer
oh how love you mixer.
the beauty whom i call
stella
Your sparkling silver eyes
that with but a wink
will change the mixer setting
will you favor me
with smooth batter for
cookies cake delicious treats

your beautiful body
sleek and shiny
designed for speed or
for pleasing tenderness
why do you will
that your contents spill
all over me

do you despise me so?

as bountiful as your projectile vomit
is delicious
do you wish me away
oh mixer
oh stella

is our love a forbidden one?
oh stella
stella

STELLA!!!

ps... for anyone who don't know me, that is a joke
i love my mixer but that is so wrong on so many levels.

but it's also true... that my mixer loves to throw up on me. recently it's been brownie batter and strawberry buttercream icing

so today I was a complete idiot (which is less than a stone's throw away from every other day). I believed I had 2 days 4 hours a piece to do 8 different types of cookies, baked and decorated and I hadn't fully completed any of them on the first day (most of them needed to be refrigerated overnight)
So there's half an hour left on the clock and I had only fully completed one and almost 2 others. I still have to melt chocolate and a pulled out a dough to cut and bake. My chef said the dough is too soft and needs to be put in the fridge, so i start to get frusterated.

not panicky like oh my god! I'm running out of time. More frusterated. like Fuck this shit! [throws spatula] fuck the chocolate that keeps petrifying! fuck the cookies that are still too warm. Fuck! i have over 5 dozen cookies to decorate!!

All the while everyone around me hasn't even finished baking all their cookies!

Turns out I have 3 days! 4 more hours to decorate everything. It'll take way less than that to finish!

so I got frustrated for absolutely nothing!

Rawr! She-Hulk Angry!

ok not really.. more exhausted then anything