It Should be a National Sport!

Today I am coming to you, writing about a behavior that I and almost every other driver out there is guilty of...

Rubbernecking!!!

Defined by Wikipedia as "the act of gawking at something of interest". Generally referring to a traffic accident.

While barreling down the Deerfoot, the high speed highway here in Calgary, trying to get home in half the time, essentially avoiding the insane rush hour. I saw some smoke billowing over the horizon and spidey sense started furiously tingling.

Oh this will be a good one I thought.

Not the classic police pull over, where the person in the driver seat is covering their face with their hands, embarrassed that the 1000th time they have been driving down this road at breakneck speed and now they (Finally!) got caught.

Or the fender bender, where someone was texting or doing something they fully know they should not and hit the person in front, or beside, them.

There are several other reasons why there would be cars pulled over on the side of the road, from a forceful by the local law enforcement, to break downs. Either way, it's not happening to me, and I am so THANKFUL!!!

Well this poor Bastard must have been having a bad day.

There, on the other side of the road, his poor new little sport SUV, with the beautiful detailing, and gleaming silver surface. His car was smoking furiously under the hood, and there were flames.

My very first thought: Holy crap! Look at that!!!
After a few moments: Did anyone call 911?

The young guys were 50 feet away and one was flipping shit (No wonder!), my guess it was his poor little baby that was spontaneous combusting! Or maybe his Parental Units lent it to him.

For a little while, after Firetrucks and Police cars came screaming down the road towards the ignited vehicle, I was still like WOW that was sick! Awed by how seemingly extreme that was, narrowly avoiding making my own spectacle of a collision.

... Why am I still in awe?

I got so caught up in the rapture of the image of a car about to explode etched into my mind, I made it home before I was like... what the hell am I doing?

And it's something everyone I know who drives, or others who don't, do when they spot these little incidents on the side of the road. Anything to distract you from the mundane drive home from work or from your errands.

We as humans love and crave excitement and this particular brand of excitement brings one feeling to mind.

THANK GOD THAT IS NOT ME!!!

Am I right? Holla!!!

Pikachu?

So today is the day of a friend's funeral. He committed suicide on tuesday.
Him and I were great friends in high school, but we lost touch after that.
...boy, do I have regrets.

I wish that I had kept contact. I wish that he didn't kill himself. I wish that I sent him the message on facebook (yes, crackbook) that I was meaning to do, I also wish I could go to his funeral.

...It's today... And I was working.

People my age (early 20's p.s) should not be burying their friends, we shouldn't be going to their funerals. We might go to your friend's grandparent's funeral. even their parents. But it somehow seems unatural and unholy to be going to a memorial or viewing of your friend.
I have never done well with death.

It also doesn't help that I also recently tried to kill myself (more about that later, folks).
I feel mighty low that he succeeded where I failed. Not that I want to succeed! I just hope that I don't go out like that. That people say they like me only because I'm dead.

I posted my status (yes, crackbook again) as R.I.P Pie Guy.. and everyone goes "I know how you feel! It's so sad, we were close"
No you bloody were not!
You didn't talk to him everyday, you didnt't go visit him in the hospital the last time he tried to off himself. you didn't care until he was a cold corpse in a square box!

Today, I drove past the place where his funeral was taking place and saw all the cars, getting ready for the procession. I just wanted to cry! I could not be there.
And then...

I had to wear heinous ugly bright yellow shirt! It was for a promotion at the store I work at.
They ordered me an XL
... I'm a medium!

So I felt like total shit, had to work, and looked like a fat-fat!

Don't get me wrong I ain't no twig! I am a very very curvy girl, that people mistake for fat, but it used to be fat. I used to be over 100 lbs more than I am now, but this didn't really help my self esteem.

God has a cruel sense of humor (if he exists)!

Well at least I got a nifty nickname out of it... Pikachu!
My others friends were: Magic school bus, banana in pajama, and bumblebee
I might just go the whole week saying "Pikachu", stay as in tune as I can with the character.

... that might not go very well when talking to customers.
"Where's the Bread?"
"Pikachu!"
"Pardon..."

... I hope I don't get fired!